Knuckle Hop
On Friday night, Rachelle and I went over to a friend’s home for dinner. There were about ten guests, and after a brilliant meal of rack of lamb, we played games.
Naturally, we started off with the feats of strength. We were each required to attempt a chin-up before launching into the Knuckle-Hop competition. Knuckle-Hopping is a traditional Inuit sport that mimics the way seals shuffle across the ice. This means that we had to bounce forward on knuckles and toes, straight as a plank, until collapsing in agony.
Steve, the host, who for some reason thought it necessary to strip to his underwear in order to compete, began to whimper after his first hop, claiming that he inherited “SKS—Soft Knuckle Syndrome—from his father, and would have to retire from the competition. I was next, and managed to accomplish three hops before vomiting from pain. Even after the mess was cleaned up, people were reluctant to continue, and we had no other participants, save Rachelle, who is insanely competitive and would not let me be declared “the winner.” As she has unnaturally large knuckles and a high pain threshold, she was able to hop from the diner table to the sofa, and was awarded first prize, a Tea Party cassette.
The next game we played was less physical. Each person was required to write down something that you should not say on a first date, and then, after they were all read out, we had to guess which person said what. These were the responses:
1) My favourite actress is Jessica Alba’s ass.
2) Don’t worry, that’s just a little bit of pus.
3) I was at the Lords of the Dance last night, and the weirdest thing happened.
4) Jesus is my co-pilot.
5) I hate your fucking face and want to punch you.
6) I’ve seen Bruce Springsteen in concert 78 times.
7) Who’s your favourite serial killer?
8) If you were a character from the Chronicles of Narnia, which one would you be?
9) I collect stamps.
10) The doctor said that once I get the sleeping pills out my system, I should be fine.
The Tea Party cassette that Rachelle won for winning the Knuckle-Hopping competition will be awarded to whomever can correctly guess both my, and Rachelle’s response.
