Neti Pot
I recently bought something called a Neti Pot, which I was told would banish all sinus misery from my life. Essentially, it’s a little plastic teapot that looks like a child’s toy. You fill it with some warm water, salt and baking soda, and then tilt your head, stick the spout in your nostril, and pour the water, which then magically drools out your other nostril carrying with it all manner of sinus sludge.
It’s not gross, humiliating or embarrassing at all.
I don’t know if it actually works or not, but at least, when you’re in the throes of sinus misery, as both Rachelle and I are right now, it does some psychological good. At least I’m doing something, and the slimy mess that it always produces is an excellent excuse to have a hot shower, which has to be good for a sinus cold, too, right?
At any rate, I’ve recently started to administer a Neti Pot to myself around midnight, right about the time the wracking coughing fits come on. Honestly, choking on a bunch of water that’s oozing out of my mouth and nose is just about the last thing I feel like doing at times like this, and so recently, when I say I’m having a Neti Pot, all I do is fill the thing up with about eight ounces of whiskey, and then slowly sip it while watching TV. This does wonders to relax my aching stomach muscles (from all the coughing), and always sends me straight to sleep.
However, whenever I’m drunk, I usually end up writing a fan letter to a celebrity, and when I got up this morning I found this letter in my Out Box.
Sexy Lady Jennifer Aniston!!
Did you know that I went to high school with Matthew Perry?
It’s true.
You remember him, right?
Chandler on Friends?
You were a MASSIVE star back then!! I mean, everybody wanted to be Ross. You remember when you kissed him in the rain, with One by U2 playing? Jesus. That was hot!
Anyway, that was a long time ago now. I bet you miss those days, because although you’re still famous today, it’s mostly just for being single and childless. It’s not like you’re a movie star or on TV or anything. That must get depressing sometimes. But cheer up, Jennifer! You’re still prettyish and you don’t have a sinus cold!!
By the way, how do stars irrigate their sinuses?
You’re Greek, right?
I wonder if the Ancient Greeks cured Sinusitis? It wouldn’t surprise me, as they were pretty on top of things.
You should know that the Greeks are my favourite ancient civilization, even though they didn’t build any pyramids.
These are my favourite ancient civilizations. ( In order)
1. Greeks
2. Egyptians
3. Druids who built Stonehenge
4. Cavemen
5. Romans
What’s your list of favourite ancient civilizations?
Michael Murray
