George W. Bush’s self-portraits

A number of email accounts belonging to the Bush family were recently hacked, revealing personal material to the public that included two paintings by Ex-President George W. Bush.   The paintings, which are not overly sophisticated, were self-portraits, both set in the bathroom. Much has been made of them, of course, with a wide and hysterical range of psychoanalytic interpretations  popping up all over the place. In an effort to quell the speculation as to what the bathroom portraits might mean, George W. Bush himself just released a written text in which he describes what inspired him to create these works.

Painting #1

A lot of people fantasize about being the President. They like the idea of power, of absolute power, like I had, but what people fail to think about is that when you’re President of the United States of America there are an awful lot of people that want to kill you. I did a lot of stuff when I was President, stuff that made some people mad, and I never forgot this. Wherever I was, it was always in the back of my mind. Who was trying to sneak up on me? How were they going to do it? What did they know?

These feelings don’t go away, they stay with you.

In this painting I’m naked in the shower, vulnerable yet powerful. I hear the door open in the bathroom and I don’t know if the Day of Judgment has come in the form of an assassin or if it’s Laura just wanting a little. And so, in a moment of uncertainty, suspended between the anticipation of an erotic encounter or a battle to the death with a would-be murderer, I’m looking in that little mirror there to see what’s going to happen next.

Note the muscles in my back. I keep in pretty good shape.

Painting #2

I really like hot baths. It’s good alone time for fantasizing. But still, I always think of the assassin, of when the Angel of Death is going to come and get me, but when I’m in the bathtub I like to imagine the Angel of Death being like Angelina Jolie in that movie with Brad Pitt. They’re both assassins and she’s all like a dominatrix. Very sexy stuff.

In this painting I was thinking about that. Angelina Jolie is going to assassinate me and as she sneaks up behind me she sees my naked body. She’s attracted. The stream of water coming out of the faucet between my legs reminds her of a boner. Curious, she gets in the water with me and we go at it, but you never really know if it’s violence or passion, and then after we have wicked sex, I strangle her with the little chain from the bathtub plug and then I call Secret Service.

That’s what I was thinking when I made this painting.